more pictures

 My dear friend and former hotel colleague.  So crazy how much life has changed since I was here before.  Neither of us had children then and now they are big enough to play together!

 Our friends who came to adopt last week  brought Catherine some dress-up clothes as a gift.  Here she is sporting the skirt over her pajamas.  :)

 Suction cup hooks we used to hang a clothesline in our 2nd bathroom,  Notice the English: " absorption in the jail."  I have no idea.  The Chinese says nothing even close to that!  Ideas for what they were trying to communicate???

 This picture doesn't even begin to accurately portray the chaos of this particular intersection.  If you looked at it from above, you wouldn't even be able to tell which side of the street people are supposed to drive on or which way traffic is supposed to be moving.  For example.  I am in a taxi going straight through the intersection, yet somehow, we are on the farthest left side of road. (they drive on the right side of the road here too!)  It's a four way intersection without a traffic light, so drivers just take it upon themselves to get through it any way they prefer :)

Someone couldn't wait to get home to take her nap.  (And I'm so so so so so very glad our bike was found!)

a first for me in China

...the bike I thought was stolen, I found 2 days later.  I'm still not sure if someone was trying to steal it or trying to be nice, but either way, I found it in the stairway of another building in our complex.  It's good to have it back and it means we can continue procrastinating about if/what kind of scooter/electric bike to buy.  :)

bike 麻烦

When I first moved to this city some American friends who had lived here before me had written a song called "bike mafan" (I'll have to explain mafan in another post) about bikes getting stolen, bikes seats getting stolen, and having to ride one bike while taxing another bike beside it.  

I have had my own share of bike mafan during my days in China, starting with the first bike I owned in China getting stolen in less than 36 hours.  

Today, we're writing a new verse.  Because our complex is still being built, the underground parking garage is one area not yet finished.  (although we found out today it's suppose to open tomorrow).  Until the garage is finished, the normal bike parking area is behind the building next to us.  Yesterday it was POURING down rain and I was trying to get Catherine out of the rain as quickly as possible so I left my bike outside our building.  

Today...no bike.  :(  I can't remember exactly, but I think it's the 4th bike I've had stolen.  (total, not since we've been here this time).  This particular bike was left here by some folks who returned home over the summer so it wasn't new or especially nice or pricey.  The biggest issue was that it was the bike we had Catherine's bike seat attached to.  And not just any child bike seat.  A child bike seat made from 2 child bike seats that we had taken features from both and wither sewed and/or wired together to make it as safe as possible for little C.  grrrr.  bike thieves.  

Our discovery of the stolen bike came when, thankfully, Catherine was napping and our house helper was watching her so at least we didn't have her with us.  But it was, of course, the time of day when it is most difficult to catch a taxi because they are all changing shifts.  So, like any good Chinese couple, I hopped on the back and James pedaled himself and his pregnant wife to our destination.  What a man, right?  :)

We were already considering buying an electric bike/scooter.  I guess now we'll be doing that sooner than we expected.  

engineering

Most days I feel like having a degree in some form of engineering should be a prerequisite for living in this country.

Take example one:  Judds versus the shower curtain.
Like most Chinese houses/apartments, our walls are solid concrete.  This fact makes hanging up anything a challenge, not to mention that it is technically our landlord's house, so we can't just go drilling holes in the walls wherever we want.  Also, our bathroom concrete walls are covered with a layer of a plastic paneling-like surface.  We wanted to hang up a shower curtain but can't install a proper rod because of the drilling/screwing issue.  We hung two sticky hooks on each side and strung a wire between them to hang the curtain.  The east side fell down in about 24 hours.  We got a new, different sticky hook for that side.  The west side fell down.  We tried a steel nail and wrapped one end of the wire around it.  Again, roughly a day later, the nail pulled out of the wall.  We currently have two sticky hooks on the west wall, and a large suction cup hook on the east side.  So far, our shower curtain hasn't fallen down in about a week.  Winner:  Judds.

Example two:  Judds versus the refrigerator.  Our landlords provided us a really nice Haier brand fridge.  It has 3 compartments...ideally one for regular refrigeration, a beverage compartment, and a freezer.  It has 4 buttons on the front and a display panel displaying various temperatures.  One would assume the buttons are to select the temperature for each compartment.  That's what we and all our local friends think, anyway.  However, no manner of pushing any of the buttons seems to actually change any of the temperatures.  Then there's the mystery of the 4th button.  It's name translates "artificial intelligence" which not even our local friends can figure out the meaning of this term in relation to a refrigerator.  So, we currently have a standard freezer, a not-quite-so-frozen freezer, and a beverage compartment that serves as the place we can put things we don't want frozen.  (And to anyone who may suggest it, we've already tried to find the owner's manual online, but our googling has failed us).   Winner:  refrigerator.  :)

Example three:  heating.  The heating (at least in the north part of this country) turns on on October 15 and off on April 15.  Today was the day we had been waiting for.  I woke up so ready for it to be the last day that it would be less than 60 degrees in my house.  I checked/touched the radiators every time I passed by hoping they would feel warm to the touch.  James had one class cancelled today so he came home earlier than normal at about 10...still no heat.  Our landlord (kindly) called about 11 to ask if it was on yet and told us to call the "wu ye" if it wasn't on.  James called our "wu ye" which is like the complex groundskeepers/maintenance/guards.  They said it would slowly warm up throughout the day to wait until evening before we worried.  We came home at after 7 and still nothing.  Another call to the wuye.  Two guys came up to check it out.  Sure enough, the water to our radiators hadn't been turned on.  They went to find another guy who came back with a big wrench asking us where the "blah blah blah" in our house was.  It's hard to tell him where something is when I have no idea what he's taking about.  He proceeds to move stuff out of our kitchen cabinets and remove the back panel of the lower cabinet.  Huh.  Who knew that was there?  Sure enough, behind it was a row or pipes.  He turned one of them, then went into the hallway outside our door, opened a panel containing hundred of pipes and turned one there.  It filled the radiator with water that is supposed to warm our house.  However, as I sit and type this, no such warming is occurring.  I guess we'll call again in the morning since we have no idea which pipe in which panel to turn.

Example four: two adults, one toddler, one toddler's diaper bag, and any stuff we purchase traveling on 2 bikes.   "If we put this here, we can put that there and then one of us hold the...."  You get the idea.

Example five:  our second bathroom.  Our house technically has two bathrooms (even more technically it has 1.5 baths).  One (the .5 one) just isn't finished yet.  By unfinished, I mean that it was essentially a room with a water spout, some pipes, and some holes.  Our landlords told us before we moved in that they would get around to it sometime, but that it wouldn't be finished when we moved in.  A couple weeks back they showed up one afternoon with a toilet.  At the time, our washing machine was in the bathroom, so they set the toilet in the hall, where the washing machine should go, once we get a hose long enough to reach from the hall to the spout in the bathroom.  Last week we got the hose and switched the placement of the toilet and washer.  And discovered that if they plan to install the toilet they brought, the door to the bathroom won't open/close fully.  I'm glad that particular engineering failure isn't on us :)

I don't mean for this post to sound like I'm complaining.  These are the things that make life here interesting.  And, our lesson on Sunday was a reminder to learn to be content and to give thanks  in all circumstances.  So, I'm thankful for a bathroom with hot, running water that at least temporarily has a shower curtain.  I'm thankful that our food doesn't spoil because it's kept plenty cool.  I'm thankful for our landlord and our wu ye and their willingness to help us and a husband that takes care of us and our home.  I'm thankful we had bikes provided for us and that we don't have to carry Catherine while we wait for buses and taxis.  And I'm thankful for the possibility (maybe even alter this month!) of having another working 1/2 bath, even if you will have to squeeze through the door to use it.

parenting

Of course, one of the hardest parts of transitioning back to life in China is not only that I am no longer single, but that I also have a child.  It is also one of the areas of life while I feel the greatest cultural gap.  Here are some examples of how parenting differs.

China loves fat babies.  A common way to say a baby is “cute” is to say that he/she is “bai bai pang pang” (white and fat).  Fat is not a word that can be used to describe Catherine so everyday older ladies tell me things like…”you should have breastfed her longer, she’s too thin.”  Or “don’t you feed her enough?  You need to make her eat more.”  Or something else similar.

I could probably count the days on one hand that someone DIDN’T tell me that she needs more clothes on.  It’s true that the climate is colder here.  People (especially old and young) wear at least two layers, even in the summer.  But even on a nice day, the general expectation is for babies to be wearing multiple layers of thick clothing.   An interesting recent addition (for me) to this topic was a visit last week to my friend Abby’s house, who has a daughter just 11 days younger than Catherine. (pictures on facebook)  She was so surprised that we had never shaved Catherine’s head (another common cultural difference…most babies/toddlers have shaved heads).  I just said that we don’t have this custom.  Then she asked me,  “But doesn’t Catherine get sweaty?  That’s why we shave her head, because she gets so sweaty.”  I didn’t say it, but I was obviously thinking….Maybe she is sweating because she’s wearing four layers of quilted clothing when it’s 65 degrees outside!

Here are some of the most interesting (and to us, funny) pieces of parenting advice we’ve received:

o   “If you stop kissing her on the mouth, she will stop drooling.” - lady at the police station who was very concerned about the amount of Catherine’s drool: 

o   “If your daughter is this naughty, then your second child will surely be a son.”  -Jill’s Chinese teacher from 10 years ago who is now James’ language teacher

o   “If she has this much energy, that’s a skill that needs a special kind of training.  The energy just needs redirected into training for the Olympics.”  -same teacher as above

o   “If she takes her shoes off all the time, it’s because her shoes are too small.”  -taxi driver, while Catherine was taking off a pair of shoes too BIG for her. 

o   “Your mother is crazy and has lost her way in the world (rough translation)” –from a construction worker lady in our complex to Catherine, offering her commentary about us having a second child when Catherine is 18 months old. 

o   “In China, only the women do that.  We men can’t handle the smell.”  -our bus driver from our recent trip to the desert, to James, while James was in process of changing one terribly dirty, smelly diaper.  The bus driver then went on to open all the windows he could J

We have had two grandmother age people watch Catherine for us while we went out.  One of the hardest things for them to accept is that Catherine doesn’t always drink hot drinks.  They think we’re crazy if we give her some juice from the fridge or water that isn’t hot. 

They (the grandmothers at least, I’m not sure about folks our age) also think it’s crazy that Catherine sleeps in her own bed, in her own room, and that we don’t hold her until she falls asleep.  This situation is also why Catherine’s afternoon nap was only about 40 minutes long yesterday instead of the normal 2+ hours.  I think the grandma’s just really can’t handle leaving her in there!