April 3. I'll see if James can fix the photo later. grrrrrr.
April 24
May 25
June 21
July 31
August 12. This picture was taken during early labor when we went to walk around the block.
2011/12/16
pregnancy pics
March 13
April 3. I'll see if James can fix the photo later. grrrrrr.
April 24
May 25
June 21
July 31
August 12. This picture was taken during early labor when we went to walk around the block.
April 3. I'll see if James can fix the photo later. grrrrrr. April 24May 25 June 21July 31 August 12. This picture was taken during early labor when we went to walk around the block.
Fall/Winter 2010
In August, we welcomed Kim from Vietnam, Myoung Shim from Korea, and Kerry from Taiwan to our family.
Labor Day in NM with James side of the family. Also meeting my now brother-in-law Sean Taylor for the first time.
Labor Day in NM with James side of the family. Also meeting my now brother-in-law Sean Taylor for the first time.
We spent Thanksgiving in NM with James's family and since Jana and Victor were coming to OK for Christmas, we stayed here. We had such a great time on Christmas Eve getting to share the news with our family that we were expecting!
2011/12/15
summer 2010
Mom has cancer, part two
Just when we thought things were getting better, the doctors discovered my mom had a brain tumor. She was having some side effects from the meds she has to take for 5 years following the breast cancer. They did an MRI just to rule out anything. It confirmed that she indeed had a tumor.
Thankfully, again, all praise to God, the surgery removed the tumor completely. The current status is that she has to get MRIs every few months, but she has even returned to work now. Praise be to God.
Thankfully, we only had one American student living with us that summer so I really was free to help her out as she needed.
If I remember correctly, I was also working with James at his office as his assistant. (which also clearly had a lot of flexibility). People cracked jokes about how they hoped we would survive living and working together. Of course there was some adjustment, but we did indeed survive. I'm really blessed to be in a marriage where I feel I can honestly say we are a really good team.
Just when we thought things were getting better, the doctors discovered my mom had a brain tumor. She was having some side effects from the meds she has to take for 5 years following the breast cancer. They did an MRI just to rule out anything. It confirmed that she indeed had a tumor.
Thankfully, again, all praise to God, the surgery removed the tumor completely. The current status is that she has to get MRIs every few months, but she has even returned to work now. Praise be to God.
Thankfully, we only had one American student living with us that summer so I really was free to help her out as she needed.
If I remember correctly, I was also working with James at his office as his assistant. (which also clearly had a lot of flexibility). People cracked jokes about how they hoped we would survive living and working together. Of course there was some adjustment, but we did indeed survive. I'm really blessed to be in a marriage where I feel I can honestly say we are a really good team.
Hosting Students
In November of 2009 our house was mostly complete. We had designed the house with the idea of hosting international students in mind. So, I quit my job at GLC in order to stay home to cook and provide transportation for our students. Our first student moved in in mid-November and there have been very few days since then that we haven't had a student.
To date we have hosted 13 girls from 10 countries. (We also hosted some Saudi guys, but that comes later). We love it. Until the time that God takes us back overseas, we love having close, everyday contact with internationals without having to leave our house. We also like the financial benefits of having them here. win.win.
The 09-10 school year we spent with Elana from Taiwan, Ebru from Turkey, and Lucy from Korea. One of my favorite memories was the day we celebrated James and Elana's birthday, which just happens to be on the same day. James friend's came and Elana's friends/classmates came so we had a full house of too many countries to count. We played a game where a fact was read and guests had to guess if it applied to James, Elana, both or neither. hilarious!
To date we have hosted 13 girls from 10 countries. (We also hosted some Saudi guys, but that comes later). We love it. Until the time that God takes us back overseas, we love having close, everyday contact with internationals without having to leave our house. We also like the financial benefits of having them here. win.win.
The 09-10 school year we spent with Elana from Taiwan, Ebru from Turkey, and Lucy from Korea. One of my favorite memories was the day we celebrated James and Elana's birthday, which just happens to be on the same day. James friend's came and Elana's friends/classmates came so we had a full house of too many countries to count. We played a game where a fact was read and guests had to guess if it applied to James, Elana, both or neither. hilarious!
Summer 2009
My mom has cancer, part one:
Part of my reason for leaving Catholic Charities was so that I would be free to take care of my mom as she had surgery and treatment for her breast cancer. Her surgery went well and she didn't need chemo, only radiation, which they actually didn't start for a while.
We bought 4 exterior walls to a house:
In the mean time, James and I had the opportunity to buy a "fixer-upper" house. By "fixer-upper" I mean it was a gutted, empty shell. James was in real estate full time now and therefore "self-employed" which meant we couldn't get financing for the house on his salary alone.
Awkward moments with old people:
I was blessed to find a job really quickly as the Social Services Director at Grace Living Center. It was also close enough to my parent's house (they were now living back in Oklahoma) that I could stop by during my lunch. That summer I didn't care for my mom like I thought I would, and she recovered better and more quickly than anyone could have imagined. The house, 2 1/2 years later, is still in a state of remodel, although it is completely liveable now. James and I still debate about whether or not buying the house was a mistake. However, I can tell you without a doubt that deciding to LIVE in the HOUSE while it was being constructed was a mistake. Somehow, our marriage survived months of having all our possessions covered in drywall dust, doing dishes in the bathtub, and not knowing where anything was.
Here are a few before and after pictures. Maybe some day I'll have the motivation to upload the entire before/after tour.
as it is now:
in process:
the day we bought it:
awkward moments with refugees: Nov 2007-May 2009
I was blessed to get a job in the Refugee Resettlement Department at Catholic Charities pretty quickly after my return from China in Sept 2007. My parents lived in CT at the time (they moved closer to my sister while I was living in China) so when I first returned to Oklahoma I lived with the generous, gracious, and amazing Scrivner family while I found a job and got settled. (THANKS AGAIN SCOTT AND LESLIE!)
My job title changed a few times, but my duties were basically always the same: helping refugees with all aspects of transitioning to America. Mostly this involved acquiring the donated goods to set up their apartments, picking them up the the airport, taking them to appointments for immunizations, doctors, school enrollment, and providing cultural orientation. The duties read quite differently on my resume. :)
I could host an entire blog with stories from this phase of life if they weren't protected by a confidentiality agreement. Most of the awkwardness came from taking folks who don't speak English to the doctor.
Like the time I had to take a male client to the urologist. And help him fill out the health history which asked many detailed questions about a part of his anatomy I didn't need that much information about.
Or the time I had to take 2 Iraqi Muslim ladies to the OBGYN. What's awkward about that, you ask? The fact that the only translator available was a man. He stood outside the exam room. The doctor or I would yell out questions/explanations to him in English and he would yell them back through the door in Arabic.
Everyday something funny happened. Either because of us not understanding them or them not understanding America or because of schools, doctors, or other service providers being ignorant. What made it really great was working with the other wonderful ladies there. During my tenure there my co-workers represented at least 6 or 7 countries, 3 major religions, and various denominations. Someone was always reading some interesting book or had just watched some great documentary or had just read some article...I learned from them and loved it. We ate lunch (on the days we actually had a lunch break) family style in the break room. We started most days with tea and catching up about the events/new arrivals/funny stories/etc. It was great.
I wish I would have been able to stay in the position longer. Although I've only mentioned the funny, light-hearted things, it was also gut-wrenchingly difficult to carry the weight of the real-life stories of my clients. abuse. torture. forced separation from loved ones. inability to return to their homeland. persecution. Not to mention all the statistics that state that no matter how well case managers and job developers do their job or how hard they work with them to get jobs and learn English and do everything "right," most first-generation refugees will never make it out of poverty. And the whole resettlement system at the federal, state, and even local organization level needs some serious re-vamping. Working tirelessly at something one cares deeply about but can't actually affect change in creates a kind of stress that is wearying and difficult to carry.
So I quit. My health wasn't good and working long days at an emotionally stressful job wasn't helping. Plus, my mom had just been diagnosed with cancer (see later most) so the plan was that I would be a little more free to care for her.
It's weird how something as seemingly insignificant as a job change can affect you so deeply. Leaving that job was something I had to grieve. I was fully invested in it and felt in many ways that it was my "dream job." And even though I left of my own volition, it still felt like it was something I loved being stripped away.
My job title changed a few times, but my duties were basically always the same: helping refugees with all aspects of transitioning to America. Mostly this involved acquiring the donated goods to set up their apartments, picking them up the the airport, taking them to appointments for immunizations, doctors, school enrollment, and providing cultural orientation. The duties read quite differently on my resume. :)
I could host an entire blog with stories from this phase of life if they weren't protected by a confidentiality agreement. Most of the awkwardness came from taking folks who don't speak English to the doctor.
Like the time I had to take a male client to the urologist. And help him fill out the health history which asked many detailed questions about a part of his anatomy I didn't need that much information about.
Or the time I had to take 2 Iraqi Muslim ladies to the OBGYN. What's awkward about that, you ask? The fact that the only translator available was a man. He stood outside the exam room. The doctor or I would yell out questions/explanations to him in English and he would yell them back through the door in Arabic.
Everyday something funny happened. Either because of us not understanding them or them not understanding America or because of schools, doctors, or other service providers being ignorant. What made it really great was working with the other wonderful ladies there. During my tenure there my co-workers represented at least 6 or 7 countries, 3 major religions, and various denominations. Someone was always reading some interesting book or had just watched some great documentary or had just read some article...I learned from them and loved it. We ate lunch (on the days we actually had a lunch break) family style in the break room. We started most days with tea and catching up about the events/new arrivals/funny stories/etc. It was great.
I wish I would have been able to stay in the position longer. Although I've only mentioned the funny, light-hearted things, it was also gut-wrenchingly difficult to carry the weight of the real-life stories of my clients. abuse. torture. forced separation from loved ones. inability to return to their homeland. persecution. Not to mention all the statistics that state that no matter how well case managers and job developers do their job or how hard they work with them to get jobs and learn English and do everything "right," most first-generation refugees will never make it out of poverty. And the whole resettlement system at the federal, state, and even local organization level needs some serious re-vamping. Working tirelessly at something one cares deeply about but can't actually affect change in creates a kind of stress that is wearying and difficult to carry.
So I quit. My health wasn't good and working long days at an emotionally stressful job wasn't helping. Plus, my mom had just been diagnosed with cancer (see later most) so the plan was that I would be a little more free to care for her.
It's weird how something as seemingly insignificant as a job change can affect you so deeply. Leaving that job was something I had to grieve. I was fully invested in it and felt in many ways that it was my "dream job." And even though I left of my own volition, it still felt like it was something I loved being stripped away.
2011/12/12
being sick: October 2008-Spring 2009
We moved quickly out of the honeymoon phase to a time frame we can now call "mononucleosis." James got sick first for a week or two. We took him to the doctor who prescribed some antibiotics and he got better. Then I got sick. Thinking I must have caught what he had, I to went to the doctor (at an urgent care clinic) who also prescribed antibiotics. I didn't get better. We went to our then primary care doctor who gave more antibiotics. I didn't get better.
A sidenote here is that James was working for a telecommunications company when we first married. Not long after we returned from our honeymoon, the company went out of business. At this point, we decided that he would pursue getting his real estate license. In the interim between the two careers, he worked briefly for a friend in Drumright, OK. He would drive a car load of Burmese guys there and back everyday.
I was feeling so poorly now, that everyday I would come home from work (see next post) and sleep until James got home at about 7:00. We would eat dinner and I would go back to sleep until the morning.
We went back to our primary doctor. a third round of antibiotics.
I don't remember the chronological order of all this now, but I remember are some point during this time we also went to visit James parents and I was taking a nap in an upstairs bedroom. I remember waking up from the nap and planning to go downstairs. Then next thing I remember is waking up a few feet from the bed on the floor. I had passed out. We returned from NM to make another trip to doctor, who has run some tests but still can't figure out what was going on. Because of the coughing and respiratory issues, she recommended I go to a lung specialist. And I got a 4th round of antibiotics.
Cutting to the chase, when we went to the lung specialist he was going to suggest that I take a battery of tests to determine if I had developed asthma, but first suggested we do a mono culture just to rule that out first. And that was the day I learned the reason I had felt terrible and been sleeping 12ish hours a day was because I had mono. a virus. Which explains why the 4 rounds of antibiotics did nothing. (and explains why we no longer see the doctor at the urgent care clinic or that primary care doctor)
I was relieved to have a diagnosis, but the treatment was "drink more water and get plenty of rest." My job at the time (see next post) was not restful. And, James was in real estate school/starting a new real estate career so me staying home wasn't an option at that point. So I worked 8, 9, or 10+ hour days and slept as much as I could until finally, sometime in the spring I started feeling better.
The funniest story I remember from this phase of life was after the visit to the lung specialist we had a follow-up visit with our current primary care doctor who advised us that I would just need to try to get more rest. James and I stopped by the grocery story on our way home and James insisted we buy lots of prepared/packaged meals so that I wouldn't have to cook until I was feeling better. I had blood drawn that day so I was feeling even more weak than normal. When it was time to wait in the long check out line, I helped myself to a bench not far from where James was checking out. As the cashier scanned our frozen meals. canned goods, and snack foods, she said, "You MUST be a bachelor." I'm sure on another day the comment would have gone unnoticed. But one that particular day, it spurred a stream of tears and incomprehensible words spoken through sobs that tried to communicate something to the effect of, "I'm just so tired and I don't feel well and now strangers think my husband is a bachelor because I can't even cook decent meals for him." It's a good thing I'm updating this blog years later so that I can laugh about it now :)
A sidenote here is that James was working for a telecommunications company when we first married. Not long after we returned from our honeymoon, the company went out of business. At this point, we decided that he would pursue getting his real estate license. In the interim between the two careers, he worked briefly for a friend in Drumright, OK. He would drive a car load of Burmese guys there and back everyday.
I was feeling so poorly now, that everyday I would come home from work (see next post) and sleep until James got home at about 7:00. We would eat dinner and I would go back to sleep until the morning.
We went back to our primary doctor. a third round of antibiotics.
I don't remember the chronological order of all this now, but I remember are some point during this time we also went to visit James parents and I was taking a nap in an upstairs bedroom. I remember waking up from the nap and planning to go downstairs. Then next thing I remember is waking up a few feet from the bed on the floor. I had passed out. We returned from NM to make another trip to doctor, who has run some tests but still can't figure out what was going on. Because of the coughing and respiratory issues, she recommended I go to a lung specialist. And I got a 4th round of antibiotics.
Cutting to the chase, when we went to the lung specialist he was going to suggest that I take a battery of tests to determine if I had developed asthma, but first suggested we do a mono culture just to rule that out first. And that was the day I learned the reason I had felt terrible and been sleeping 12ish hours a day was because I had mono. a virus. Which explains why the 4 rounds of antibiotics did nothing. (and explains why we no longer see the doctor at the urgent care clinic or that primary care doctor)
I was relieved to have a diagnosis, but the treatment was "drink more water and get plenty of rest." My job at the time (see next post) was not restful. And, James was in real estate school/starting a new real estate career so me staying home wasn't an option at that point. So I worked 8, 9, or 10+ hour days and slept as much as I could until finally, sometime in the spring I started feeling better.
The funniest story I remember from this phase of life was after the visit to the lung specialist we had a follow-up visit with our current primary care doctor who advised us that I would just need to try to get more rest. James and I stopped by the grocery story on our way home and James insisted we buy lots of prepared/packaged meals so that I wouldn't have to cook until I was feeling better. I had blood drawn that day so I was feeling even more weak than normal. When it was time to wait in the long check out line, I helped myself to a bench not far from where James was checking out. As the cashier scanned our frozen meals. canned goods, and snack foods, she said, "You MUST be a bachelor." I'm sure on another day the comment would have gone unnoticed. But one that particular day, it spurred a stream of tears and incomprehensible words spoken through sobs that tried to communicate something to the effect of, "I'm just so tired and I don't feel well and now strangers think my husband is a bachelor because I can't even cook decent meals for him." It's a good thing I'm updating this blog years later so that I can laugh about it now :)
Honeymoon July 2008-St. Maarten
James had a "diving accident." He dove into the pool without putting his hands out first. His head was introduced to the pool bottom.
Leaving OKC...less than 24 hours married!2010/11/12
Wedding 07/05/08
I got married to James on July 5th, 2008. Here's the brief version of our story. We met in China while I was working at a hotel and he was studying Mongolian. A few days before I was scheduled to return to the States, he let me know that he liked me. So, I came home to OK and we emailed and skyped for 4 months while he finished his time there. He returned to the States in January and we began dating. He moved to OK in March, we got engaged in April and married in July. Whew! It didn't seem that fast then :) 
2008/05/09
2007/12/09
Thanksgiving
Since tommorow is Christmas, I thought I should at least put up my pictures from Thanksgiving before I get even more behind. I had originally planned to go "home" to Connecticut for Thanksgiving, but decided to wait until Christmas when I would have a few more days off. I didn't think I would be sad to be in America and not be spending the day with my family, but I was wrong. Thankfully, I had two great families take me in. Just as we were praying for the meal at Aubrey's I felt the tears start to come and thought...maybe I am sad I'm not with my family. And in the same thought overwhlemed with gratitude for the friends I have who love me like family. And in some ways, sharing a dorm room for 3 years makes you as close as family. So here's my shout-out to the Billingsley and Chapin clan. I think you guys are great! Thanks for your hospitality and friendship. And I have told the Laney's breath story so many times. so funny. 
Jill and Aubrey above, the whole family below
My dear friends Molly and Feng were in town from New Jersey for the holiday too. I got to go with them to their friends' home for another delicious meal. The Punjabi family, who I had never met before, also welcomed me as one of their own and made me feel right at home. They have 3 beautiful, well-mannered children who made the evening even more entertaining with games and ping-pong. Molly and Feng...I miss you! When will you be in Oklahoma again?
Jill and Molly
We were partners for Scrabble...taking it pretty seriously apparently.
Feng, me, Molly, and the Punjabi family
Jill and Aubrey above, the whole family below
My dear friends Molly and Feng were in town from New Jersey for the holiday too. I got to go with them to their friends' home for another delicious meal. The Punjabi family, who I had never met before, also welcomed me as one of their own and made me feel right at home. They have 3 beautiful, well-mannered children who made the evening even more entertaining with games and ping-pong. Molly and Feng...I miss you! When will you be in Oklahoma again?
Jill and Molly
We were partners for Scrabble...taking it pretty seriously apparently.
Feng, me, Molly, and the Punjabi family2007/11/06
Maine
While I was with my parents in Connecticut I took a trip to Maine for a few days to visit some of the most wonderful people I know. I spent two summers during college living with the Lawrences in Massachusetts. Now they have moved to Maine and the timing of my visit was great because I got to see some of the leaves beginning to change color.Even more wonderful was getting to kayak on a glass-smooth lake with views much better than these photos in every direction. The embarassing part was being out-kayaked by someone the same age as my mother. I had to ask a few times, "Can we stop and take a break...my arms hurt."
2007/10/02
How Connecticut is like China
It's been too long since I've posted. I'm working on a long, reflective-type post about my past year in China, but haven't finished it yet. And since I may not any time soon, I might as well move on and update about some other things.
And my mom and I went to a National Park for a walk and wading in the ocean:
I don't have a picture, but I enjoyed going to the farmer's market each Wednesday and buying delicious fresh fruits and vegetables that became our family's dinner each night.
I'm back in America! I arrived on September 24 and spent my first few weeks back with my family in Connecticut. They live in Norwalk. It's close to NYC. I was surprised at the number of ways my family's new home was like the place I had just come from. Here are a few examples:
- I heard a foreign language almost every time I left the house. Mostly that language was Spanish, but at Linens and Things I overheard a Chinese couple arguing about what kind of rug to buy.
- You can't drink the water. Maybe you can, but my sister has convinced my mom it's not ok so I too resisted the urge to drink a glass of water directly from the faucet.
- It was loud like China. I didn't hear fireworks, but loud traffic, honking, and sometimes yelling were quite common.
- I felt like a foreigner. I didn't get stared at like one, but I felt foreign sometimes.
- Just like in China I didn't drive. I don't particularly enjoy driving, so having my mom, dad, sister, or brother-in-law chauffeur me around was a nice treat. It was like the privilege and convenience of Chinese taxis, without having to pay and being able to speak English.
My dad and I drove around and saw some great coastal scenery. I enjoyed looking at the houses. Each one seemed to be so different from each other and have so much character. And I loved being close to the water and seeing all the boats:
And my mom and I went to a National Park for a walk and wading in the ocean:
I don't have a picture, but I enjoyed going to the farmer's market each Wednesday and buying delicious fresh fruits and vegetables that became our family's dinner each night.
But maybe the best thing was my last day there when I got to accompany my sister to her doctor's appointment and see the ultrasound and hear the heartbeat of my future niece or nephew!
I had a job interview there also and it went really well. But, I turned the offer down in order to come back to Oklahoma. That's where I am now and I'll update the rest another day.
2007/10/01
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