our new ride

I'm going to tell this story in true Jill fashion...with way way more back story than you need to get to the point.  :)

Last Saturday I went out to run some errands.  We had heard there was a place down our street that sold fresh milk (all the other milk here is UHT/shelf stable) so I went to try to find it.  TADA! It's about a dollar a bottle (about one pound) and you just bring your bottle back each time.

When I came out of the milk place, I saw an old man on a tricycle and I thought, "Hey, all of us could fit on that one." but the thought was displaced by thinking about all the other things on my list.

I saw that a new bakery had opened on our street sometime while we were gone.  Whole wheat sliced bread is hard to find, and whole wheat sliced bread without sugar or random raisins (not enough raisins to be a raisin bread, there are just a few random raisins throughout the loaf) is almost impossible.  But not on this glorious Saturday. [Another random piece of information:  the bread from bakeries like this one is sold in packages of 5 slices.  James and I tried to decide...why 5?  Most families here are 3 people...mom and dad each eat two and kid eats one?  or grandma and grandpa  are living in the home too and everyone gets one?  No matter the reason, 5 isn't a great number for sandwich-making] 

Then I had a short list of items to get at the store...and they were all in stock! (also something that doesn't happen all the time). When I came out of the store I saw an older man on this electric tricycle:

 I immediately thought, "I think we could make that work for all four of us!"  I asked the man where he bought it and how much it cost.  He was the perfect person to ask!  He said, "before I tell you that I need to tell you the negative aspects of this vehicle.  First, you have to park it somewhere you can recharge the battery....and he went on.  Then he told me all the great things he likes about it.  It was like reading a product review.
I went home and told James about my great finds and showed him the picture of the trike.  Our biggest problem is still that we don't have a safe place to park it at our complex so we had to make sure it would fit in the elevator so that we could bring it up to our apartment at night.  We researched it online and tried to find the measurements.  We still weren't sure based on what we saw online so we took our tape measure and went to the shop the old man told me about in the "buy any kind of bike you want" district. You can't tell so much from the pictures, but it goes on way beyond what you can see...it's like the mile of cars in Norman.  only bikes.   :)

We found it easily thanks to the nice man's directions.  We were hoping they would have a few models to chose from , but there was only the one.  We measured it and sure enough, it would fit in the elevator!  They had two colors, red or silver.  We chose silver.  We paid the $415 dollars, got our free rain poncho and air pump and were on our way....after we were cautioned by the nice salesman that it would take 2 hours or so to learn to drive.  He said we should go to a big, open space to practice.  We didn't heed that advice, but James got us home safely.  And it was.so.fun!!!  Seriously.  best ride through this city I've ever had.  In fact, every time I/we are on it, I can't stop smiling. 

Here is James taking it up to our apartment the first time we brought it home.

And here is our first excursion as a whole family on it.  You should also know that generally, electric trikes such as this as driven by old people.  Specifically old retired men driving their wives around.  The fact that we are young, white, and a family of four riding one gets stares.  lots of them.  and comments.  We don't really mind since we get stared at anyway.  And all the comments we've gotten to our face as well as those we have overheard have been positive.  Mostly people keep telling us what a great idea it is for taking our whole family.

And, if we didn't have to be able to bring it into our house, we could have upgraded to the SUV version of the electric trike:

So that's the longer-than-it-needed-to-be version of how we got our new wheels.  We are so thankful and having a blast cruising around town when we're not feeding babies, changing diapers, going to class, or sleeping in every 3-4 hour interval we can get. 

Money, Money, Money, Money

Dating in China can be kind of rough.

...After being introduced to her boyfriend’s parents, his news was grim. ‘I can’t marry you,’ he told her bluntly. ‘My parents expect me to marry a girl of my own class.’ But, he reassured her, he was quite happy for her to be his mistress, and his multimillionaire father had agreed to put aside the funds he would need to support her....

Read the whole article here.
 http://www.aeonmagazine.com/living-together/james-palmer-chinese-youth/

travelling with an infant and a toddler

I DREADED the day we had to board the plane.  I, of course, dreaded the good-bye aspect of not knowing when we will be in the States again, but I dreaded holding a child on our lap for 20+ hours of travel.  I dreaded being so tired after already being so tired and knowing that a good night's sleep after the travel wasn't really an option either.
When we arrived at the OKC airport (at 5ish am, after going to sleep after midnight) Ann had already pooped out of her diaper into her pants.  We weren't even on a plane yet. (things get better from here)
We went through security so easily and made it to the gate in time for Catherine to have time to play.

We arrived un-eventfully in  Chicago with plenty of time to get to our gate, feed kids, and get ready to board to the long flight.  We had to check in at the desk to verify our documents and that's when I got the seemingly bad news.  We couldn't be seated together because their aren't enough air bags on any one row.  The god news was that she could seat us across the aisle from each other.
After we boarded we found out that it was actually great news...in order to be seated across the aisle from one another we had gotten bumped up into economy plus.  When we sat down we didn't have  other passengers around us so we just kept waiting for them to board.  And we waited.  and we waited.  and then they closed the doors and we realized....We actually have this much room!

Ann and I had 3 seats.

James and Catherine had 3 seats. 

Catherine took full advantage of the extra space.

Even with the extra room, traveling with the kids is still exhausting.  Below is us in the Beijing airport waiting for that last leg of travel.  I must say, the Beijing airport is moving up in class and style.  First, the bathrooms now seem to always have toilet paper, hand soap, and paper towels.  Maybe this is true in other places in Beijing too, but it certainly wasn't common  five years ago and isn't common in our city yet.  Second, they had an indoor play are for kids.  It was great and Catherine made some little friends.  Third, it's the most breastfeeding-friendly place I've ever been.  seriously.  They have nice, clean nursing rooms at almost every bathroom.  They have a nice comfy chair and are painted like a kid's nursery..  It was seriously impressive.  Props to you, Beijing!

 

And here we are...on the plane that brought us home.  We boarded on time, and then sat on the runway for almost an hour.  All 4 of us slept.I should have taken of my coat.  Mom wearing a coat, holding a sleeping child wearing a coat=SWEATY.  

top ten things in America

We have been back in our China home for almost a week.  We are SO SO SO very glad to be back in our own home.  It was great to be with family and friends, but the lack of stability in our life and living out of suitcases while waiting for then trying to adjust to a second child was a challenge.  However, America was GREAT.  Here is my top ten list of things I enjoyed in America (in no specific order):

1. grandparents.  We wouldn't have survived this trip with out them.  Catherine stayed with both sets of grandparents at different times during our two months home and LOVED it.  We also loved it and probably wouldn't have survived the first week of Ann's life without them.  It's funny how in roughly 30 years time certain people (grandparents) can reduce the number of times they use the  word "no.".  :)
2. health care in English.  Even in the midst of labor I had the thought, "why did I think I could do this in another language???"  We are so thankful to the midwives
and doula, Elena Barton, who took such good care of us. We were so pleased that the same midwife who assisted with Catherine's birth, Yvonne,  was on call again when it was time for Ann to be born.  We had such good support during labor.  They are knowledgeable and professional and made me feel comfortable laboring however I needed to without feeling a bit self-conscious.  (sidenote:  For both of my birth experiences my coping mechanism has been to scream.   Or maybe it's more of a moan.  My friend and doula for Catherine's birth,Crystal, calls it "vocalization."  Anyway, it's LOUD.  It's not what I thought I would do, but it's worked for me so far.  two natural, un-medicated deliveries down, the yelling just works for me).  They  went above and beyond in helping us with all our breastfeeding issues right up until sending we were boarding the plane.  Seriously.  Yvonne called us the night before we left just to check in one last time and to say good-bye.  We were also able to see a speech language pathologist and get guidance in helping Catherine develop her words.  And we did it all in our first language!  so nice. A wonderful lady we connected with through NWBC is a lactation consultant and made home visits to help us and gave me phone consultations numerous times.  We took Catherine for a check up and immunizations to a nurse practitioner from James' home church.  We took Ann for a check up at a doctor we met in Dalhart, TX through one of the churches we are connected with. We really are so very thankful for all the help we had in keeping all of us healthy and well.  
3. Duck Dynasty.  I had seen some facebook posts about this show but had never seen it.  The first episode I saw I wasn't convinced that it was worth my time, but the more we watched the more hooked I got.  James and I DVRed and watched every episode we could.  Belly-laughing at/with those guys was the perfect ending to a day.  But, something tells me that series will not be one that makes it to the local DVD store. 
4. freshly ground nut butters.  American grocery stores were wonderful.  Having a car to transport the things I bought at the grocery store was wonderful.  The freshly ground nut butters were spectacular.  Dark chocolate peanut butter, almond butter, and cashew butter freshly ground into a size of my choosing for a very reasonable price was just what this 9 month pregnant lady needed.  (yes, I said needed)
5. car seats.  Although sometimes a hassle to move them from one car to another, it was really nice to have Catherine strapped in and contained in the car and not have to hold her squirmy little body every time we wanted to go somewhere.  (Please don't judge, car seats just aren't used here) 
6. chai tea. While we stayed with James' parents I found this in the fridge.  Maybe it existed in Oklahoma grocery stores when I lived there previously, but I had never seen or noticed it before.  The concentrate means this lazy mom doesn't even have to wait for tea to steep and the caffeine free version is great since I try to avoid it while nursing.  
7. my husband.  I'm so very thankful that this item on my list is with me in China too.  But seriously, James is great.  He was patient and kind when I was pregnant and cranky.  He held our wiggly daughter for the bulk of the flight from China to the US so I could be more comfortable.  Catherine peed on him 3 times.  It was so fun to hang out with "nothing" to do while we waited fr the baby.  He was a great support during labor.  He has continued to be patient and kind throughout sleepless nights, breastfeeding problems, and all the transition to a family of four.  I cried 9 out f 10 of Ann's first days.  There were many days early on where he was the only one in our family who hadn't cried.  I am so thankful for his steadiness and commitment to me and our family. 
8. cool greens I actually only got to eat there twice, but I could have been happy to eat most of my meals there.   It was delicious, healthy, and reasonably priced.  Their kids meal offered things with actual nutrition and not just deep fried fats and starches served with a toy or coloring book.  Sadly, I don't see this chain opening up in our city any time soon. 
9. Cows.  James and I are now in the cattle business.   This is our cow and she's expecting some time soon.  She was our Christmas gift from James' parents and when she gives birth, we get to decide whether to increase our "herd" or sell mom or baby or both.  Truly a gift that keeps on giving :)                                                       
10. living with the Stewards.  It is not often in life that as married lady with kids that you get to live with your best friend when she is also a married lady with kids.  The Stewards were so so so wonderful to us to let us move in with a toddler and later, also an infant.  It was so fun to watch our girls (attempt to) play together, to watch her oldest son be so kind to Catherine, and just to get to see up close how another family operates.  It was great to "compare notes" and to learn from someone I already respected so much.  I was most challenged by the time Dara spends in the Word despite having 3 kids under 5, volunteering at her son's school, being involved in the women's ministry at her church, and many other obligations.  I make excuses for not spending the kind of time in Bible study that I'd like to, but seeing someone just make it priority and organize life around that priority was encouraging and challenging.  It was also nice to enjoy meals together and laugh together and catch up for a bit.  and hard to day good-bye when the time came. 

I could make a longer list of all the other things we enjoyed, but it's taken me weeks to get this posted so this abbreviated list will have to do for now.  And for all the folks we connected with that I didn't personally mention...thank you for taking time to meet with us, have us in your home, and/or take us to dinner.  We'll return the favor when you visit us on this side :)

China's urban women

While we were home I got to share some about China at a women's tea.  I tried to share some about young, urban women in China.

Below are some of the articles I referenced when sharing if you're interested in further reading about the issues women are dealing with here. 

Family planning:

http://www.lifenews.com/2009/02/18/int-1091/
“More Than 13 Million Abortions a Year in China, 55 Percent of Women Have One

by Steven Ertelt | WASHINGTON, DC | LIFENEWS.COM | 2/18/09 9:00 AM

http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/12/02/china-s-sex-ed-problem.html

China’s Sex-Ed Problem       Dec 3, 2012 12:00 AM EST

Health care/complications with delivery:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3260572/

Factors influencing rising caesarean section rates in China between 1988 and 2008

http://www.who.int/bulletin/volumes/85/10/06-035808/en/index.html

Delivery settings and caesarean section rates in China

Family relationships:

http://factsanddetails.com/china.php?itemid=107

FAMILIES IN CHINA: LINEAGES, MARRIED LIFE, EXTENDED FAMILIES AND NEW FAMILY STRUCTURES

http://www.speakingofchina.com/china-articles/chinese-mother-in-law-relationship/#.UPbIcifBedU

The Troubling Chinese Mother-in-law Relationship              Sep 16th, 2009 by Jocelyn Eikenburg

 

Domestic Violence:

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/cndy/2012-11/26/content_15956560.htm

Call for action on domestic violence        Updated: 2012-11-26 08:01                  

http://www.economist.com/node/21560616

Beaten but unbowed     An American victim lifts the lid on a social taboo      Aug 18th 2012 | BEIJING

http://www.theglobalist.com/storyid.aspx?StoryId=8671

The Persistent Problem of Domestic Violence in China  By Cesar Chelala, Monday September 13, 2010

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/health/july-dec11/violence_09-14.html

Health Updated: Sept. 14, 2011, 11:24 a.m. ET  Domestic Abuse Hidden but Pervasive in China

a home tour

Since we've been home, some people have been curious about where we live in China.  Here is a video of our house taken in November.  The 2nd bath is now finished and a few other improvements have been made since then.  

Here is part two of the tour:

Catherine was sleeping when the video was made.  Her room is below.  Once Ann is sleeping through the night, it will become both girls' room.  

This is the roughly 180 degree view from our apartment looking north.  It's not this clear everyday, but it sure is nice when it is.

Here is our complex the day we moved in.  It's MUCH better now.  

This video was taken from the roof of our building the day after we had the fire. 

Here is a video James made for me when he went to see the apartment for the first time before we decided to rent it.

birth story of Elizabeth Ann Judd

Our last photo as a family of three, taken January 30, 2013.  

All of our prenatal care was done at a local hospital where we live in China. At the first appointment the doctor told us that because we were foreign and our beliefs/customs are different that we could find out the gender of the baby (which isn't normally allowed).  However, when the time came for the ultrasound, we could tell the doctor doing the ultrasound was very uncomfortable telling us.  She told us she couldn't see clearly, but James suspected that he saw what looked to be a girl on the screen.  I also suspected that if it were a boy, they would have told us.  But we didn't know conclusively so we were anxious for the birth so we could finally know the gender of our baby.

On Sunday, January 27, we were speaking at a Global Impact Conference.  I had contractions throughout the day and we thought the baby may be arriving.  And then the contractions stopped.  And then on Wednesday, more contractions.  And then they stopped.  And then on Thursday we had our weekly appointment with the midwives and I was having some contractions.  They checked me they process had started.  We thought we may have a baby that day....and then the contractions stopped.  Friday...same story.  Saturday (Feb 2) the contractions were a bit stronger, a bit closer together and seemed to be staying around.  

We went to lunch with my dear friend Stephanie and her family who were in town from Wichita. She had a home birth with her son (not pictured) just a month ago.  This is last picture of me before the baby came.  

The contractions continued throughout the afternoon so sometime in the evening we decided to call our doula, Elena, since she would be driving from Stillwater.  And of course, after she was here for just a little while....the contractions stopped.  We decided to just try to get some rest and see if they would begin again.  Sometime while we were resting they did indeed return but were still between 10 and 15 minutes apart although getting stronger.  We were beginning to think that Elena had made the trip for nothing.  Then, sometime after 3 am, my water broke.  The contractions immediately went from 10-15 minutes apart to about 3 minutes apart.  We called the midwives, got in the car, and drove to the birthing center.  

We arrived at the birth center about 4 am.  Our midwife, Yvonne, arrived about the same time as us.  We used the same midwifery service as we did with Catherine, but they have 3 practicing midwives who rotate who is on call for the births.  We were blessed that it worked out that the same midwife who attended Catherine's birth was there for this one as well.  

Yvonne, her assistant Nikki, Elena, and James helped me through the next four hours through the contractions which seemed easier for me this time around, and the delivery which seemed more difficult. We had also found out at one of our ultrasounds in China that the umbilical cord was wrapped  twice around the baby's neck.  Our midwife suspects this may be the cause of the stop and start labor I was experiencing (baby getting stressed so labor stopped) and the comparatively more difficult delivery.  The cord was actually wrapped THREE times and baby's shoulder's couldn't quite rotate during the delivery.  

At 8:12 am, our little GIRL was born!  Here are our first moments together.  

 James and I had solidly decided on a name if we had a boy, but a girl required further deliberation.  After an hour of two of spending time with her, we decided on Elizabeth Ann Judd, named after James' great-grandmother (Enid Elizabeth Anderson) and my aunt (Athenia Ann Davis, who has always gone by Ann).

Here she is!  7 pounds, 19 1/4 inches

 Our dear friend and doula, Elena Barton, who attended to births of both of our girls.

The three of us waiting for mimi to bring in big sister Catherine.

Without being asked or told, Catherine kissed Ann.  For a girl who is very sparing with her hugs and kisses, this act melted a hormonal momma's heart :)

Mimi with Ann.

 Grandpa with Ann

We ate breakfast, took a shower, spent some time falling in love with Ann, and letting the siblings get acquainted.  

Our first picture as a family of four:

After resting for just a bit at the birth center, we came home.  (and by home, I mean the Steward's house). And later in the day, the New Mexico grandparents arrived to meet her.

Now we are busy spending our days (and nights) adjusting to having a newborn again...and it's rough. But we love our daughters and are so thankful to God for blessing us with them.

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photo shoot

We stopped in a photo studio on our street last week to get some pictures of Catherine and hopefully some family pictures we could use in Christmas cards.  

Catherine at 16 months

Don't be confused.  We didn't travel to Italy.  We're still at the photo studio on our street :)

trash

When we first moved into our building there were very very few residents who had moved in yet.  Most were still fixing up their places.  Occasionally there would be construction trash left in the elevator.  Annoying, but not really a big problem. Mostly just an occasional box or packaging material or something like that.  Now that more neighbors have moved in, in the past few weeks a terrible habit developed.  People were just throwing their bags of leaking, nasty trash in the elevator.  Seriously.  for about a week everyday the back half of the elevator had either bags of trash or leftover gross-ness after the cleaning ladies had to clean it up.
In my head, I was drafting a sign that I could print out and hang up.  I was wondering what words I could use that would express my disdain for the situation and not be too blatantly rude.  I hadn't yet completed my masterpiece when I noticed someone beat me to it....and did a much better job than I could have:

"Take out the trash.  Maintain civility."  

That's my rough translation.  Anyway, it seems to have worked.  Since the sign was posted the elevator has been trash free :)

Thanksgiving 2012

I'm a bit slow at getting these pictures up, but we had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  It is more "trouble" to make those special dishes from home here, but it also makes them seem more delicious and appreciated.  

I really wanted green bean casserole.  We have an imports store that had cream of mushroom soup, but I had to make the french fried onions.  It wasn't as difficult as I thought it might be, and we had batter left to have more deep-fried goodness a few days later.  

 Pumpkins (although a different variety than we have in the US) are more commonly eaten here and easy to find.  Where there is pumpkin, there can be pumpkin pie :)

 Ovens are NOT standard in homes here.  What we have is more like a toaster oven, but it gets the job done.

Our Thursday feast:   pumpkin pie, pound cake, Russian bread (authentically Russian.  one of James' classmates from Russia has begun baking loaves and selling them to her classmates for about $1.50/loaf), green bean casserole, salad, chicken (the turkey cost $74 at the import store.  no thanks), and sweet potatoes.

Our friends.  James' best friend here who teaches at a college and one of James' American classmates.  She's here doing research for her dissertation.

Our family

We went to another feast on Saturday but didn't think to get out the camera.  There were somewhere between 20-30 of us there.  It was nice to meet some of the foreigners in the city we hasn't met and to again fill up on such delicious treats.  When we got back that evening, we decorated our Christmas tree.

Someone really liked the lights.

 Our little helper