Easter pictures

April 15th

The significance of this date has nothing to do with taxes for those of us who live in the Blue City. No my friends, today is significant because today is the day our heat turns off. It's been on since October 15th, but today it's time to say good-bye.
In years past, I have dreaded this day as temperatures outside were still cold enough to need the heating, but this year I'm ok to see it go. I'm sure we'll have another cool/cold spell or two, but I think winter is officially behind us now.
This winter was not as bad as any of the others that I experienced here. Al Gore really is right. And in honor of climate change, global warming, our heat being turned off and feeling ok about it, and Earth Day, some of us are watching An Inconvenient Truth tonight.

While I'm on the subject of the changing seasons, I have something else to say. I hate being cold. That's why I hate the winter here. But, there are some negative aspects of the warm weather also. First, spring brings the sandstorms. We've only had one so far, but more are likely. I'm from Oklahoma, so I can handle the wind, but when it's windy in Oklahoma, it's just wind...not trash and sand and other stuff blowing around too. And I'm normally in a car and not on a bike. I guess I should be thankful for the good opportunity to exercise as I attempt to ride my bike into the wind.
The other thing about temperatures above freezing means that things begin to thaw. Water I'm fine with. Sewage...that's another thing. One positive thing I will say about Old Man Winter is that when it's freezing (or below freezing) outside the stuff that normally smells disgusting is completely frozen for a good 5-6 months. Well, all that stuff has begun thawing in recent days. Spring is in the air.

stress

The next two weeks at work will be my most stressful. I'm in charge of creating, administering, grading, and preparing training for our yearly English test for the hotel staff. The responsibility is compounded by the fact that their score on this test determines if they get a bonus on their paycheck every month or not...and it's all decided by me.
My parents are moving out of the house we've lived in for 16 years. With the exception of the 3 suticases of belongings I have here, all the possessions I've accumulated over 16 years (actually, some are even older than that) are also in the house. I have to decide from this side of the world what I want done with my stuff...leave it in Oklahoma somewhere or let them move it to Connecticut with them. And now I also have to learn how to say "Connecticut" in Chinese. My sister and her husband recently moved from NY to CT, but I've just been referring to it as "a state next to New York." Now that everyone in my family lives there, I should probably just learn it.
A few weeks back I registed to take the HSK, the standardized profieciency test for Chinese. I thought the test was at the end of May. I found out on Wednesday it's really on April 22. That means I have exactly one week from today to make sure I can read and use about 2500 Chinese characters.

I am such a jerk

After work today I met an American friend to deliver something to her. We were standing on the sidewalk talking. Well, I was talking and she was patiently listening to me vent about why I was frustrated with the hotel today (that could be a post all its own). So we're chatting and this very cute elderly man approaches us and asks where we're from, what we're doing in the city, how long we've been here...all the usual questions. He has one headphone in with a wire reaching to his shirt pocket. I'm thinking...what a trendy little guy walking around town listening to an mp3 player. So I ask him, "Sir, what music are you listening to?" This is where it becomes one of those moments where you want to reverse time and take back the words that just fell out of your mouth. "This thing," he asks? This is my hearing aid." I already feel bad but it gets worse...."I lost my hearing in the Cultural Revolution and suffered a lot of other injuries to my body as well." Now I realize that I am indeed the most insensitive person on the face of the planet. He takes it out, shows it to us and tells us how it works. And also tells us how China had to go through such a hard time in history to be able to develop to where it is today. Then he put it back in his pocket, thanked us for talking with him and went on his way. He didn't seem offended, but I felt like an idiot. I mean, what 77 year old Chinese man walks around with an mp3 player? It was a lesson in thinking before I speak and it had the added bonus of learning a little more about China's history and the nice gentleman.

an outing

A couple weeks back some friends and I got somewhat out of the city. We rode our bikes out to the mountains to our north, climbed up, had a picnic, and came back home just in time for our aftenoon meeting. It was too smoggy/foggy/couldy to see the city well but it was nice to get out even if it was only for a few hours.

so much to say

I'm still here. It's my lousy internet connection that has prevented me from posting lately. I have a few posts all ready to go, but when I'm finally able to post them they're not timely, funny, or insightful. They probably weren't any of those things in the first place.
I'll try to call China telecom and see what's up. Until then, I hope you are having a most meaningful Holy Week.

progress update

This picture was taken Saturday. This is the same used-to-be- building as below. I'm just amazed that in 12 days they can demolish an entire 3 story building with only sledge hammers. And now I have to find a new hardware store because I need some light bulbs.

fireworks

My tutor informed me that today is officially the last day of Chinese New Year. At first I thought the fireworks might end on New Year's Day. Nope. Then came the lantern festival, which I thougth was the last day to celebrate the New Year. Nope. It's today.
What does this mean? Another occasion for fireworks. They're going off from every direction right now, like they do almost everday, only a little more so today. I don't typically enjoy them because they're loud and they shake stuff in my house, and folks tend to set them off without warming you first, like today when I was walking down the sidewalk and this dude just lights this strip of them right by my passing feet. It's crazy.
But, when I left for vacation...I was flying out of Beijing on New Year's Eve and that was the 2nd best fireworks show of my life. We've in a plane so we've above them, and we're above Beijing, so as far as the eye can see in every direction there are fireworks of all colors. And, we were far enough above them that there wasn't all the annoying loudness. If I could enjoy these that are going off now from a plane I might like them too.
At least today is the "last day." That is, until another wedding, building construction, holiday, or any other event that merits the driving away of evil spirits.

a little more about my city

Things change everydayhere. You walk outside, a building is gone, a sidewalk is gone, or a new building has been constructed, literally almost overnight. This building is across the street from my house. On Sunday, it was still my hardware store, a place to buy pajamas and long underwear, and some other little clothing or snack shops. When I came outside Monday morning, all the signs were gone and everything had been cleared out of the stores. On Tuesday, it was gutted and most of the top floor was gone. This picture was taken on Wednesday. Today (Friday) most of the second floor is missing too. And no, there's no crane and wrecking ball, just some dudes with big sledge hammers.
We still have bad English here. Some places in China, as it gets more developed, the English translations get better...which is good and bad. When signs are correct, it's not nearly as entertaining. (I heard from another foreigner recently that Beijing has employed a team of folks to go around the city correcting all the Englishin preparation for the Olympics. I better take all these pictures while I can). I pass this sign everyday on my way home from work. Everytime I saw it I would get so distracted by the really bad English, that I would forget to look at the Chinese to find out what kind of place it actually is and what they meant to say. Here's my attempt at translating what they really meant: The first three characters are the word for the Arc d'Triumph, which I guess actually could be translated "Triumphal Arch." The next character relates to the foot. The last one, in this case means way, road, or path. It can also mean say or speak, but I think they should have looked at some of the other definitions in the dictionary before spending money to light it up above their doorway. So anyway, it's an establishment that gives foot massages..."Triumphal Arch Foot Says."

captions

captions: #1 We rode elephants. Here's one getting a bath. #2 We listened to traditional music while we ate tasty fresh fruit. #3 Our elephant trainer guy crafted this grasshopper out of leaves as we rode the elephant, then gave it to us as a gift. #4 On the way back home, I spent the day in Beijing with a dear friend, Abby. Congratulations to her! The day I was in town she was handing in her Master's thesis about the translation of humor from English to Chinese. #5 10 hours by train, 14 more in Beijing, and a few hours into the last flight. Posted mostly to convince the photographer I'm not embarrassed.

vacation pics

back from vacation

Here is a list of the highlights:

• starting each day with a run or a swim.
  
• laughing with friends (old and new)
• walking on the beach, watching the sunset, and listending to the waves
• eating Mexican food!
• eating fresh fruit everyday, multiple times a day
• eating ice cream (more than I should have, maybe)
• not wearing a suit or panyhose or uncomfortable shoes for 9 days
• playing Unlitmate frisbee and getting really really sweaty
• riding an elephant...my elephant riding partner and I had the best little trainer guy of them all. As we were going along, he crafted a grasshopper out of leaves and gave it to us as a gift. It was great.
  
• being warm

And as life goes, you have to take the bad with the good. So the things I didn't like were:

• mosquitoes! I always wish I could live in a tropical location until I get there and have to deal with these pests!
• making a Russian lady VERY angry with me for taking a chair by the pool she thought was hers. It really was a scary experience. My friends had my back though.
• the flight there. I have never been in a smaller airplane seat in my entire life. and I was the shortest of the three of us traveling together.
• running out of bananas while riding the elephants...they wanted more and so they attacked us with their snotty trunks. It was creepy. They were coming at us from three directions. We screamed like girls...we are girls, but I acted like it on this occasion.
  

I'll post pictures soon!

the lost shoes

Here’s a story I didn’t have time to post before I left because it happened in the few hours before I boarded the train. If you haven’t been to/lived in China before, you need a few pieces of cultural information to help understand how the following story could take place. First, you never wear your shoes inside someone’s house. You take them off at the door and put on a pair of tuo xie (slippers) that are worn inside the house.

One of my American friends has a dog (see picture of Jaxon). I had been watching the dog while she was out of the city. She had made plans for a Chinese man (we’ll call him R) to watch the dog when I left for vacation. The dog would stay at another American family’s house and R would come check on it and walk it and such. I had the simple task of dropping the dog off at the house that’s probably only about a mile (maybe less) from mine.

I got off work at 3:00. I needed to deliver the dog, take a shower, prepare a meal for four, and throw the last few things in my suitcases all before 6:00. In three hours that’s possible, but here’s what happened.

It has been snowing off and on all week. The weather was warmer, turning the snow into a sludgy, melting, disgusting mess. Normally, it’s no problem to take the dog in a taxi, but today even the 300 meters or so from my gate to the road made the dog really, really dirty. All the taxis I tried to hail just kept pointing at the dog and shaking their head. I soon realized no taxi was going to let the muddy dog get in. Because I’ve already walked a little way, it’s too late to go back and get my bike. And, I’m not sure that the bike will help all that much because I’m not sure that he would be willing to sit in the basket. So, I ended up having to walk all the way to house. Set back number one.

Remember how I mentioned the messy roads? By the time we get to the house, Jaxon was one dirty dog. I didn’t feel good about leaving the dirty dog for R to have to deal with and I couldn’t let it run around the house until he was clean so now R and I have to give the dog a bath. Now I’m getting nervous about my time constraints.

We successfully cleaned the dog and now I’m ready to go. When I arrived, I had come in the door, taken off my shoes in the doorway, and gone straight to the bathroom to wash the dog. I get ready to leave and my shoes aren’t by the door. I know I didn’t wear them into the bathroom, but I decide to look there anyway. Not there. I haven’t gone in any other room of the house. The only people in the house are R and me…and then there’s Jaxon. I ask R if he sees my shoes. He says no, but that he remembers me taking them off when I came in. This is weird. My only thought is that when I was giving R instructions about the food and so forth, Jaxon must have carried my shoes somewhere. This seems to be the only explanation. I didn’t see or hear him do it, but they aren’t where I left them and I can’t go back home in my panty-hosed feet. So, R and I now begin looking in every room of the house for my missing shoes. We are looking in rooms we hadn’t even opened the door to before. There’s no way they can be in there. I am thinking this is the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m not exaggerating when I say we looked for at least 20 minutes. I’m looking under the tables, in closets, everywhere and my shoes are nowhere. R is asking me about them and helping me look. We finally both realize we have exhausted every option. We’re standing in the middle of the living room with looks of confusion and exasperation when I happen to glance down at his feet…..he is WEARING the shoes we both just spent 20 minutes looking for!!!! I am not kidding. Since the shoes I was wearing didn’t have a back…they’re just black leather slip-on shoes, when he saw them sitting by the door where I took them off and assumed they were tuo xie. So, we spent twenty minutes looking for a pair of shoes that he was wearing. It was too funny for me to be frustrated that it wasted so much of my time. And although we ate a little later than planned, everything got done and we made the train on time after dinner.

I realize some of you may find the most surprising part of this story is that I voluntarily allowed a dog to share my living space for more than a week...I did and we both survived. How about that.

Chinese New Year Performance pictures

The pictures aren't great, but the performance was. From the top: a traditional Mongolian dance. 3 of the MCs (the girls are friends of mine who work at the Front Desk). I'm not sure what minority group these costumes or dance is from both I thought it was one of the best acts. The large group is all the upper level managers of the hotel. My boss in on the back row, on the far right.

vacation

I'm leaving tomorrow and will be back on March 1st. I might have some access to the internet, but I'll probably choose to spend my time in the sunshine and not in front of a computer. I'll be back in touch in a couple weeks.

Good-bye dog, hello pig....Happy Lunar New Year to each of you.

春节快乐！ 祝您新年快乐！身体健康！万事如意！

Happy Valentine's Day

Or Happy Lover’s Day if you’re literally translating from Chinese.

In honor of this holiday and in celebration of the fact that I just finished a book I’ve been reading since November, I want to share some of my thoughts on romance in China. Some of these thoughts are my own and from my own interpretation of what I have seen or heard from my local friends. Some of the thoughts are not mine so I want to give credit to William Jankowiak and his research informants when he wrote a book called Sex, Death, and Hierarchy in a Chinese City. The book is an ethnography of the city where I live and was researched and written about 20 years ago.

And they lived happily ever after…
I think that as an American, this is the ending I always expect. Our literature and movies portray some very unrealistic ideas about romance and a sometimes soap opera-induced view of how things should be. Everything works out in the end and the couple rides off into the sunset. Most of my local friends tell me that all of our movies are so unrealistic because they all have happy endings. In contrast, in Chinese literature and movies about love stories, the typical ending is tragic. Normally, EVERYONE dies. (Anyone seen Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, or House of Flying Daggers or The Banquet or a World Without Thieves?) I remember when I was student, the love stories we would read in class all had the same ending….no matter what, the couple never gets to be together in the end. As an American I interpret it as a “bad” ending, but for the Chinese I think they would say it’s a “real” ending. I think that’s one reason Titanic did SOOO well here. To this day you can hear the song playing in dorm rooms, coffee shops, and hotel elevators. They love the tragic ending.

Here’s some of what Mr. Jankowiak had to say about romance in Chinese literature: “The power of romantic attraction leads to feelings of passion, jealousy, yearning for exclusiveness, and unrequited suffering.” So because of the “destructive power of passion…the family often went to extraordinary lengths to ensure that its offspring would not haphazardly or impulsively fall in love.”

"Romantic tales served as morality tales designed to teach the younger generation that love was not an end in itself but a by-product of marriage, the formation of the family, and the continuance of society.”

Romance is for dating
In the book, the whole chapter on romance was sort of depressing for me that so many of his informants thought that basically all forms of romance ended with when a couple got married. If not then, then especially when they had children. This aspect I think has changed some since it was written as there is a little more freedom to marry for love now than there was 20 years ago, but still. People said things like, “when you are married you have obligations. The mystery is over.” Most in this city “assume that the loss of romantic intensity is an inevitable aspect of marriage.” Again, coming from my happy-ending American mindset I want to scream, “NO! You get married and love each other forever!” I know keeping the passion alive must take some work, but that so many folks found it “inevitable” to fall out of love was depressing. One man quoted said, “In America 50 % of marriages in end in divorce. In China, 50 % of marriages are unhappy.”

individual desire versus social obligation
Divorce is becoming more common, but still rare. And another factor in the “unhappy marriages” is the pressure to please your family and the society as a whole with your choice of partner. I know many of my local friends have broken up with guys they really, really liked because their family wouldn’t approve of the guy. I know we have this to an extent in America, but we still have a HUGE amount of freedom in who we choose to date or marry with little consideration of how the decision will affect the greater community or anyone beyond ourselves, really. We can relatively easily marry outside our social class, ethnic group, or educational background with little criticism. But the same is not true here. Regardless of who they “love” most still feel more pressure to choose someone who is “suitable” in the eyes of their family and society.

Master manipulators
I know women in general tend to be manipulative by nature. But I used to get extra frustrated with my girl friends here who I feel like are master manipulators when it comes to “catching” a guy. (Let’s just say Elizabeth Elliott’s principles are not closely followed). I’m not saying it’s right or good, but now that I understand more of their pressure, I more understand why they do the things they do. I appreciate that in America I have the freedom to be 27 and be single without much harassment from family and friends to hurry up and get married. Not so here. Unmarried women over 28 are often teasingly referred to as “old girls” and all women are expected to be married by 30. And you can’t marry just anyone. Especially for a woman, it is not good to “marry down” so you have to find someone with the same or greater social status than yourself. Most of my local friends my age stress out about this constantly. A girl who worked at the hotel for awhile when I first got here is only 25 but already freaked out that she doesn’t have a boyfriend. She said, “if it takes about two years to date and make sure we’re right for each other and I haven’t even started that process yet, it may be too late.” A girl who works in the reservation department once asked me about why I’m not “looking” or doing anything to find a husband and I told her I didn’t want to manipulate the situation. She said, “I don’t want to manipulate things either, but I’m not going to sit around and wait for it to happen. I’m going to put myself in the best possible position.”

I think there’s also a tendency for both parties to be a little false in the dating period because of the pressure for things to “work out.” Jankowiak found, “It is not unusual to find men complaining that women were ‘less timid, less shy, and very difficult to control the longer you knew them.’” But, we do this too. Dress up and act all mannerly for the first months of dating until reality comes out.

Ok. I think that’s all for now. I have some laundry and packing to do. Happy Valentine’s Day!

the greatest thing that's ever happened to me

well, maybe one great thing....Saturday I had to call a plumber (that's obviously not the great part). I gave him directions to my house, but he called back to say he couldn't find it and asked if I would come out and meet him. So I'm waiting at the gate to my building watching all the folks coming and going trying to guess which one might be the plumber. This guy passes on his bike and then I see plumbing-type tools strapped to the back so I yell at him and ask if it's him. It is. He replies, "I saw you standing there but I didn't think you would be who I was looking for. From our conversation on the phone I couldn't tell you were a foreigner."
It was maybe the best compliment a girl who's been studying Chinese for 3 1/2 years could ever hope for.
However, later I did find out that he's from southern China, hasn't been here long, and isn't used to the northern accent and I know his opinion is not the standard. I don't care. I liked hearing it.

around town

the number 4 bus...it goes down the main strip of town and into the Old City. It's normally one of the most crowded ones, but this particular day it wasn't too bad.
The other picture is taken from the bridge that crosses over the main strip. We had no problem taking pictures there, because no one besides us and two other Chinese girls were using it. I mean, when they provide an alternative to playing frogger with the passing traffic, I'm going to use it even if the rest of the population isn't.

my coworker's wedding pictures

the title of my blog

Today at work, I got something in my eye. Well, I don't exactly know what the deal was, but it was itchy and watering and driving me crazy. (that feeling is, in my book, one of life's most annoying occurrences) So I left the office and went to the bathroom to see if I could figure out the problem. This lady who works in the PR department and who I've hung out with some happened to be in there at the same time. She asked what was wrong and I told her that I thought something was in my eye. She said she would help me. I thought she was going to look in my eye. No. What did she do? SHE LICKED MY EYEBALL!!!! I am not even kidding. Before I even knew what was coming she held my eye open, stuck out her tongue and LICKED my eye! Full contact between her tongue and my eye. Has anyone ever heard of this method of stuff-in-the-eye removal before?

This is a prime example of why I chose the title I did for this blog. Sometimes, there is absolutely no other way to respond to what life throws at you other than to shrug your shoulders and go back to the office and finish making the "English Weekly" bulletin board. How else are you supposed to respond to someone licking your eye?