Decision made

Short version:

Assuming all goes according to plan, our second child will be born in…………………….THE USA!

Long version:

We had a home birth with Catherine and had a very positive experience.  We loved the care we received from the midwives and being in the comforts of our own home to welcome her into the world.  We knew moving to China that having the same experience probably wouldn’t be likely.  We also knew that Chinese hospitals don’t have great reputations and that the C section rates are very, very high.  We also knew that traveling for the birth wasn’t ideal because of the time we’d have to be away from the city we now call home.  (due to flight restrictions for pregnancy before the birth and waiting for passport/visa processing for new baby after the birth)

We had done a little research prior to coming and found a hospital in Beijing (just a short flight, overnight train, or 6-8 hour car ride away) that seemed to support natural birth.  When we arrived in August we made a trip there to check it out.  The quality and standard of care seemed good and they seemed to truly support natural birth.  However, the cost was significantly more than the US and the English level of the staff didn’t make James feel confident enough that he could communicate with them if an emergency arose.  We looked at some other Western hospitals in Beijing but they were even more expensive.

Our next option was to look at hospitals and birth centers out of country.  We contacted a birth center in Korea and a hospital in Thailand and planned to check them out further as the pregnancy progressed. 

Meanwhile, we knew we do our prenatal care in our city.   The first appointment was a disaster.  I went to a hospital where many of my local friends had delivered and that they had recommended.  It was one of my worst experiences in China thus far.  I’ll skip the details but the lack of privacy, the rudeness of the staff, and the cultural differences were more than a hormonal pregnant lady could handle.  I started crying just before I got in a taxi to come home and stopped some hours later that afternoon.  Seriously.  The taxi driver kept handing me tissues from the front seat not really knowing what else to do about the foreigner crying in the back seat of his car. 

After that, we knew we needed to find a different hospital.  Another friend gave us the name of another hospital where we went for our next check-up.  It was a completely different experience.  They had nice ladies who walked us from room to room, it wasn’t crowded, and the doctor was so nice.  The doctor’s daughter is studying in America and she was well-aware of all of the cultural differences in giving birth in the US versus in China and seemed to want to accommodate us and make our experience comfortable.  We were still planning to go out or country to deliver, but the hospital, our doctor, and the staff were so great we began considering delivering the baby at that hospital here in our city.  Each visit we asked more questions and the doctor seemed willing to create the kind of birth experience we wanted, but we still weren’t sure she had the authority to make the exceptions we were asking for. 

At our last appointment my local friend Juliet, who is an English professor with GREAT English came with us to make sure we were understanding everything the doctor said and that she really understand what we were asking.  It was clear after that appointment that we couldn’t comfortably deliver here.  Our due date is just a couple days before China’s largest holiday and since our last visit our doctor had made plans to travel to see her mother which meant she could not assure us she would be at the delivery.  Having a friend to translate also allowed us to ask/understand clearly about the delivery process and what they could and could not make exceptions for.  The biggest issue for me was that James would not be allowed to be in the delivery room and I’m not sure I can handle hours of labor in a second language without any support.

We decided that even though it meant being gone for 2 months we would need to travel for the birth.  If we went to Korea or Thailand the delivery cost is comparable to the States but we also have living expenses and travel expenses.  Not to mention that we wouldn’t have help with Catherine in those places.  We began to consider returning home.  Through hours of prayer and consideration we have decided to return to America to have the baby.  We booked tickets for December 30 and will come back here March 3^rd. 

We’ll look forward to seeing all of you that we can when we’re there!