computer and email woes and thoughts on being thoughtful

I've spent the past few days catching up on replying to all the emails I haven't replied to since June. This post is about some of my excuses and some thoughts I've had in the process. 

For a long time we've had computer issues. We knew it was the fan going out. It's now the third one we've replaced in just over two years. GRRRR.  The loud, obnoxious clicking made me not want to sit and write. Plus, there was the frequent overheating and shutting down. But the added issue of our two-continent life is that we have an encrypted hard drive and secure servers and yadda yadda yadda and all that takes SO LONG to sign in to. So, when it shuts down, I give up. 

Here is my handsome husband taking apart our computer and replacing the fan.

And then we only have one email inbox. James and I have VERY DIFFERENT email filing styles. My style is leave things in the inbox that need replied to. Everything else, once dealt with, gets filed in appropriately named files or deleted. James' style is leave everything in the inbox. He argues finding something you need can be searched for by date or name or whatever. He differentiates "done" stuff with "to do" stuff by leaving the "to do" stuffed marked unread. VERY DIFFERENT STYLES.

I've also had no emotional energy. Not to engage or call or write blogs or respond politely. But, it's getting better so I'm getting back in the swing of things. 

The computer is fixed now. I've cleaned out about 250 of the 2000+ emails in our inbox. We'll keep enduring our shared inbox. And I'm feeling more able to engage. 

But I've been thinking of all I've missed out on engaging in over the past few months. I'm not just  talking about replying to emails. I've also got a list of thank you notes I truly want to write. I've also missed birthdays and anniversaries and other occasions that I want people to know I remembered or that I thought of them. I want to be known as being thoughtful. But that word is weird. The thing is, when one does something like make a call, write a note, or recognize a special occasion, he/she is doing more than being thoughtful. He/she is being actionful. I'm actually quite thoughtful. Even in China, I think of my friends and family in the States and I always think about how I should get a package in the mail, or write an actual hand-written letter. I am thoughtful, but I just don't always muster up the action to put with my thoughts.

I had a goal for 2014 to write one hand-written letter a month. I think I got one, maybe two, done. I bought a card to send to my sister-in-law and intended to send so that it would arrive on the first day she got to being staying home with her twin boys. The card is still unwritten, sitting in a stack with the rest of my stationery. 

I'm not really sure what my point is with all these words. I' don't think I want us all to start using the word actionful instead of thoughtful. I think I just want to be more conscious to carve out the time each day to put action to my thoughts.